It's beautiful out! Sunny and warm. I just met up with Joel, his roommate Tim, and a friend of theirs named Mike for lunch in downtown crossing. Picked up burritos and smoothies (yummy!) and sat out in Post Office Square to soak up the sun. Finally! I didn't have a jacket or a sweater on. Yeah! We discussed life, liberty, and me writing a book with magic based on singing so that I could write off my voice lessons :) Which led into living in France (artists can work there for three months without paying taxes), becoming famous and rich and where we would buy homes when we had lots of money ;P I said Paris, the Cape and California, Joel and Tim voted for South Beach, Miami. So basically we just sat there and talked s**t for an hour and a half (oops! I supposed I should buy a watch, huh?) before I recalled that yes, I do have a job, and yes, to keep said job I should probably be there ;)

Last night was the charity banquet, which was a lot of fun. Hung out at work putting together expense packages and portfolio of investments (semi-annual period for three of my funds was April 31st) and then met up with Steph at the Omni Parker House. It was a beautiful, the banquet was held in the rooftop ballroom, the food was excellent, the keynote speaker both funny and relevant, and the people at my table were fun, too. There was Steph and her boyfriend Simon, Heather and her boyfriend (Simon's roommate) Jeff, Dave and Amy, and a girl named Catherine. So I wasn't the only single girl there, yeah! :)

I started reading a book by Diane Duane and thus far (twenty-six pages) like it a lot. Posted a couple of crits and need to do a few more. Am meeting Leane tonight for drinks, then have a barbecue on Saturday with pretty much the same group of friends that were at the charity banquet. Can't wait for the Alias season finale on Sunday - woo hoo! There's a rumor floating around the spoiler boards (yup, I have way too much time on my hands, why do you think I'm writing this? :P) that we're getting more SpySex! Yeah SpySex! :P And the delivery confirmation thingy online said that John got my manuscript yesterday at 11am. So now I'm just holding my breath waiting for him to call. Fingers crossed!

- D

What the hell did I just get myself in to? :)

I got into Oklahoma as a saloon girl (and here I'd promised my friends I'd stay fully clothed for this one! :P) and a member of the ensemble, one of Laurie's friends. Which is cool. Except rehearsals start the 13th of May, which I hadn't realized, and the show runs for seven - count, em, seven - weeks, Thurs, Fri, Sat and Sun. But the woman on the phone did tell me they won't call me for every rehearsal (thank God). My only real concern is that I don't want to miss Bible study for two months :( So I'm hoping I'll have a few Tuesday nights off in there. Otherwise, I'm really going to miss some of the new friends I've been making. She also didn't know if they'd casted Dream Laurie yet, so I'm still waiting on that one.

But the chance to work with this choregrapher is a great opportunity, and will look really good on my dance resume. Which will hopefully open other doors. Though, man, am I going to be in good shape by the end of the summer!

Wanted to link to picture of myself...it's not working...anyone out there have an idea why? Because I am NOT technologically advanced :P

Argh! Grumble, grumble, grumble...

My stupid phone company screwed up my phone lines, their fault, but I don't have a phone - therefore no internet, which is the real problem - until Sunday! What the *!*@*$? No internet, chatrooms or e-mail until Sunday! Whimper. I seriously don't think I'm going to be able to handle this. I mean, the whole reason I have a phone (since my cell has free long distance) is so that I can use the internet. Grr... Maybe I'll get a lot of writing done this weekend.

Another thing that's annoying to me? When it's practically impossible to get a real, live person on the phone to talk to about problems with a bill, applying for a new credit card, whatever. And to top it off...they're converting our phones at work to a new voicemail system which isn't supposed to go into affect until the 12th. Except that, for some reason, I can't access my voicemails so I've had this blinking green light on my phone at the corner of my eye all morning.

Deep breath.

In good news... I kicked butt at my audition last night. It was a tough one, too. First she taught us three counts of eight of a more balletic piece to "Many a New Day." They split us into five groups (there were a lot of girls there) and had us run it twice. Then they called out names - forming new groups - and whittled us down. I made it to the last group ;)

Of those of us that were left she taught us this really fun, HARD, can-can piece. Hard because it's fast, she taught it to us quickly and didn't give us many times running it before splitting us into groups. Think starting off with a high-kick, swizzle walks, this fun "drawing up your skirt showing your garter" pose, step-touches up three times, three step turn to the right with another high-kick, two quick poses to the left with a prep, then a stag jump :P (I'm proud to say I was the only dancer who hit it on the counts/on time), into a lunge, double pirouette hit a pose arms in tenth. Whew! I'm tired just typing it ;P But I made it to the last group on that one, too. Some of the girls couldn't even do a double, which surprised the heck out of me, I mean, not to be mean, but why are you trying out for a *dance* position if you can't do a double pirouette? Man, I was sweaty by the end of it! They had all the stage lights on, which made it really hot up there.

So I think I have a good chance of getting a spot as a dancer. Possibly the lead in the dream sequence, which would be awesome, because of those of us who made it to final cuts only one other girl was at my level. Oops, that sounds conceited, doesn't it? :P Okay, how to put this...only she and I had the technical skills to dance the role. There, that better? ;) But I'm not getting my hopes up because the other girl has danced with the choregrapher before, so the chances are good the choregrapher will pick someone she knows. But at least I feel like I redeemed myself somewhat from Monday night's "worst-ever" audition, and felt good walking out of there.

I forgot my sister's birthday last week. I truly, truly suck. I called her last night and she picks up the phone with "Well, I guess my sister finally remembered my birthday." Eep. I feel pretty awful about it, all things considered, because I called her six days late! :( I don't even know why I forgot it, unless it's because I'm generally bad with what day it is/she was here the week before. Sigh. Must go buy belated b-day card in vain attempt to regain status as member of human race.

Tonight I have a charity banquet with friends, then Friday out with other friends, then my whole, long weekend without the internet. Gulp. Blockbuster, here I come!

- D

Vague ideas for my next YA novel are taking shape in my head...a magical system based on dance and music...a city based on Venice during the Renaissance...and a main character who's an orphaned street brat who can work magic both ways, which hasn't been possible before...hmm....not sure what the conflict will be, yet, but I suppose that'll come. And you know what that means, don't you? Another trip to Borders and the library to pick up books on Italy/Venice and the Renaissance! I wonder if I could go on a trip there and write it off? :) Or write off my voice and dance lessons now? :P But I'm happy because I'd like to be working on an adult and a YA novel simultaneously throughout the year.

My allergies are acting up and my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton. The weather is - finally! - warm out. Last night my friend Hillary and I ate dinner at Tea Luxe on Newbury St., outside under an umbrella, which was so nice. For a seven dollar sandwich, though, I wasn't impressed. You know, it's funny, but I've noticed that - while I have no idea what men bond over, I think it's motorcycles, sports and music - women seem to bond over stories about ex-boyfriends and past relationships :P Afterwards we walked through the Commons and over to Park St. for small group. Which was very small last night (not many people showed up), and though I was planning on leaving early I ended up staying late talking to Priscilla, Heather, and others.

Dance audition is tonight. Gulp. I will not suck, I will not suck! Actually, I feel much more confident about dancing versus singing. And, as one of my friends pointed out, at least after Monday' s debacle they won't be expecting much and therefore will be pleasantly surprised/easily impressed! :P

Good discussion with eBear about the importance of creating complex characters which I plan on applying to my next YA novel. I want better villains! My goal is to write a juicy, meaty YA villain. Or maybe not have a "villain," per see, but just an antagonist/conflict. Hmm...

Goes off to brainstorm more, muttering under her breath the whole way...

And five pages on Magpie! Whew! So today was a productive day in terms of my writing career. I've still barely cracked one hundred pages on the book, though. And I posted four reviews today - though I'm not anywhere near being caught up. But at least today has been an improvement over last night :(

And I'm meeting a friend for dinner, therefore won't be able to stress over writing/life at all. Distractions can be good ;)

- D

Yeah! Cut a total of 5,500 words from The Carver. Yeah me! It started out as 124,500 and ended up 119,000. So it's now ready to go - or as ready as it'll be this time around. Lots of unnecessary talking/explaining this and dialogue tags. As well as a few scenes that had no point. I'm so excited to send it to John, and can't wait to talk to him about the revisions/who we're going to submit it to. I'm even more excited at the thought of selling it! :P But I can't mail it until I find a box to put it in, so I'm heading over to Staples on my lunch break to look for something suitable.

Went to bed early last night since I felt so bad, then woke up at 7:15 this morning. I hate being sick :( Tonight I might meet a friend for dinner and free ice cream (B&Jerry's is running some sort of anniversary special) before small group. And I might even try to get some word count on Magpie. I've been so busy revising that I haven't had time to think about it. We'll see!

- D

Can I cry now?

I get up on stage to sing at my audition, open my mouth...and nothing comes out. My voice completely failed me. I managed to produce a little bit of sound, with no depth or projection to it, and the poor music director didn't even have me sing half the sixteen bars. I well and truly sucked. I have never sounded so bad in my life. My throat is raw to the point where talking hurts, and I was so embarrassed/humiliated I couldn't even explain I was sick. I just high-tailed it out of there. But they called me back to dance on Wednesday. Which is now making me hella nervous because I was soooo bad tonight I'd hate it if I blew the dance audition, too.

I was awful. Whimper. So awful I can't even cry about how badly I blew the audition. But the tears are pressing up against my eyes, you know that hot prickly feeling, and I'm refusing to cry. Instead I just laughed about it. When you're going to suck, you might as well really, really, well and truly suck :P Which I did.

And it was a good weekend, too!

Friday night we started out at Dick's, then hopped over to Whiskey's, then Sonsie. I drank a grand total of - two beers, two apple martinis and a raspberry something or another shot - which is the most I think I've ever had in my life. But I drank it over such a long period of time I was barely buzzing! And yet I still had a hangover the next...ahem...afternoon (1:30pm) when I woke up. Sigh. It ended up being Moriah, Michele, Aja, Saul, Annelisa and her friend, and me. I had a good time, and attempted my first ever "I'm going to talk to a guy in a bar." Got a couple of free drinks ;) But discovered why I don't usually talk to guys in bars. They're rarely, if ever, interesting ;P

After waking up very, very late in the day on Saturday I just bummed around the house. Rented a video and afterwards read through Soul Stone for a last edit. Printed it off and sent it to my agent today - yeah!

Sunday I went over to Steph's house and we made lunch - pad thai - and I watched her bubble-wrap breakables for her move (she insisted she didn't want help). Hung out until about three, then went home and gardened. I planted oregano, thyme, basil, cilantro, dill and parsley in my garden. If any of them grow I'll be all set for cooking this summer.

Then I went to church and sang (which I should not have, and contributed to the whole audition debacle today), was supposed to meet up with Tina afterwards but we got our wires crossed and I went to the wrong service :P Went home and drooled...er...watched Alias, then tried to fall asleep but couldn't. Had to wake up at 5:30am in order to drive to Newton and leave my car at a friend's house (hi Chee!) so I'd make it to my audition on time. I really shouldn't have bothered to show up for it. What sucks is that - no offense, and not in a vain way - I heard the other girls auditioning and I know I'm a better singer than them - normally. And was really confident up to the point I opened my mouth and tried to sing ;) I mean, I still could get a part dancing, but after tonight they'll probably tell me it's conditioned upon me never opening my mouth on stage ;P Or maybe I'm delusional and truly suck all the time. Sigh.

Okay, just tried to take a sip of water and, man, does my throat hurt! Whimper. And I probably sound like a whiny, poor pitiful me, brat right now. I'm just disappointed in myself/a perfectionist, and humiliated. Please, God, may the rest of this week not be this bad. Otherwise I think I'll apply for a permit to hide under the bed until it's over.

- D