Friday!

Skips in circle of delight :)

Put down the scissors and took a machete to The Carver. Cut 4,000 words from it - yeah, me! Am discovering that I had a fondness for unnecessary dialogue tags and having my characters shrug a lot in this novel. So it's down to a more manageable length of 119,250 words. Which is still too long, but at least I'm feeling like I have a better grasp of it. I've been so busy working on it, though, I haven't written anything new in Magpie. But I kind of want to get both TC and Soul Stone out the door, so I may just dedicate this weekend to editing/revising. When I'm not doing other things.... :)

Meeting up with friends tonight around 9pm to hear a jazzy/blues band play. I was up late last night, too, so I may take a nap before heading back into the city. Wednesday night dance class went well, a sub was teaching, which was good because she's easier than my usual teacher. But I was still wicked sore Thurs. Got together with Joel last night to finish working on my audition pieces. It was very sweet of him, since he's in the middle of moving, and I'm feeling a lot more confident about the audition. At least we figured out how to finesse the ending of my "uptempo" piece so that I can sing it! My full range still isn't back :( But I'm sounding much stronger, thank God, and can project more.

Hmm...if I end up getting the part I want...and my agent sells both of my books...thus leading to the whole "revisions" process all over again...I could have one helluva busy summer! Maybe I'll figure out a way to cover my laptop with plastic so I can take it to the beach ;)

- D

Argh!

Okay - whoever the joker is who signed me up for the Democratic National Party's online newsletter and the NRA's newsletter (which just popped into my inbox with the title "A Tribute to Charleton Heston") - you're in big trouble, buster!

Actually, I suppose it's kind of funny :P

Talked to Joel on my cell while driving into the city last night. It was funny, he's distracted and stuff because he was in the middle of composing, so he gets all apologetic, and I had to laugh. Because he's yet to call me when I'm the middle of writing, the muse has hit, and it's going really well...and anyone who calls is likely to get a snarled - "Call me back in two hours!" - with a dial tone in their ear ;P

Bible study last night was good. Am really starting to feel like I have a home/am connecting with people there, which is nice. Lots of meaty discussion, with real participation - yeah! Managed to catch up a bit with my friend Steph afterwards and make a date to do lunch this Sunday. It's still weird to see my ex there, a part of me wants to walk up to him and give him a hug, ask how he's been, if we can now talk about shallow, surfacy stuff like civil adults, another part of me wants to walk up to him, slap him upside the head, and tell him he looks like an idiot trying to be Mr. BMOC when he's twenty-seven and the girls he's hitting on are twenty-one (if that). And ask when, if ever, he's planning on growing up.

It's strange for me to be able to see through him/find him so transparent (at the same time remembering when I just worshipped the ground he walked on) and wonder why they can't. And after a moment of intense anger at him...I didn't care. If those girls can't see that he's using them to feel good about himself...they'll have to learn the way I did. I can let it go, forgive him. And I'm not responsible for what he does, or who he hurts, or warning them. (And, no, I'm not being melodramatic or bitter. Some serious stuff went down a year ago that had major fall out. He's a funny guy, cool to hang out with, great with compliments and conversation, but please, please, for the love of God, don't trust him. Please). Why am I writing this? Because I realized something last night that may not sound profound but is. I don't love him anymore. For a moment, I wanted to grab onto that - I am in love with him - it gave me my identity for so long, and hold tight, but then I let it go. And while I'll always care for him, I don't love him anymore. And God, that feels good.

Then I got stuck in awful traffic going home because they'd gone down to one lane merging onto Rte 1 in order to do construction. I hate the Big Dig!

No word or page count today. Blah. Am really wanting to be over this stupid cold still kicking its way around in my chest. But I will go to dance class tonight. The exercise will make me feel better. Really. Even though I already taught today. But that was just weights, and I really need to stretch and move.

Oooh! Just talked to my agent. Good news. He liked The Carver a lot, said it had comparisons to Charles de Lint that work well in the marketplace, and that it could be a very successful book in that genre. He also told me it needed tigthening and thought it was a little long, which surprised me (the length thing). He said the convention now has been towards shorter and shorter books. He gave me some good pointers on dialogue - that it was too close to actual speech and over-explained sometimes - and said it works really well and he'd be prepared to send it out now. But I made the call to work on it/take another pass at it with an eye towards tightening (he said no major plot changes/re-writes were necesssary) so that he'd have the best novel possible to send out. I don't want to be so eager to get something in the marketplace that it's not my best. But - yeah! - definitely sellable. Though he said adult fantasy has been slow lately.

I mentioned Soul Stone and gave him a brief synop and he asked to see it as is. Which means I'll run home after dance class tonight and read through it again ;) Oooh...wouldn't that be cool? If I sold three books in a year? I'd wear out the soles of my shoes happy-dancing! :)

- D

Whew! Ninety-five pages total on Magpie. Yeah! And I managed to wrestle Loung to the ground :P A lot became clear to me when I started writing in his POV, though, and found out he isn't truly free. Which is all the hint I'm going to give! I also posted five crits today, so am feeling less overwhelmed by the number I owe. I hate it when I owe too many, because then I start to review to get them out of the way, and not because I'm enjoying the story/want to read it. I don't think that's good for the people I crit or me.

Went grocery shopping last night and made my infamous dill/chickpea/feta salad for dinner. Sad as it is, I'm not too creative in the food department, and I usually eat one of four meals:

- Chicken with frozen veggie stirfry (A lot! A whole lot! Just ask my roommate. At least twice a week, if not more :P)
- Black bean and tomato soup
- Chicken & black bean tortillas
- Dill/chickpea/feta salad

Periodically, I try to branch out and make something new, but it's so time-consuming! Much as I hate to say it, if they ever invented a way to pop a pill rather than eat, I'd sign up for it. Then I tried to practice my vocal pieces for my audition and got very frustrated. My voice still isn't there yet. And all my practicing Sunday seems to have loosened up all the icky phlegm and stuff in my chest, so now I'm coughing up more! :( So I trooped upstairs, wasted time (not really, but it's not truly productive, and I tend to log in when I'm procrastinating) in the OWW chatroom, and then watched TV.

Oh, Sunday, I had fun catching up with Leane over coffee, and then we went to church. Yes, I sang, and no, I shouldn't have. But it was Easter and they sang some of my favorite songs! You try keeping your mouth shut when everyone around you is singing. Yeah, I know, I know, bad Dena (hangs head in shame).

Bit the bullet and sent an e-mail to my agent. Hate any form - even mild - of confrontation, but I really want to hear from him about the Carver. Then I e-mailed tons of people about Friday night. We're going to this bar called Dick's Last Resort to hear a band - Soul City - play. They're bluesy/jazz is how my friend Michele described them. The last time we tried to hear them we got to the bar just as they were pulling down :P so this time we're meeting up earlier. And today is feeling like a blah day. And like this post isn't that interesting. So I think I'll shut up now and try to find something to fill my last half hour of work (got here early today).

- D

Let me see...

Watched bad television last night. Didn't do much that was productive. And no new Alias tonight, which is just sad and depressing.

But I wrote seven pages today - woo hoo! - and I think they might be good. Luckily, I'll have all this week to edit and re-read the first part of the book before posting it (as I have to have my YA project stuff up). I think I'm at that point where I need to re-read what I've written before I can move forward. Some novels I have to do that with, some I don't. I'm constantly referencing my research books, though, which is going to make it difficult for me to work on this one at work. (Yeah, yeah, I write at work. But only when I don't have anything else to do. Which is more often than I care to admit). But I'm still not clear on Loung's motivation, other than the traditional fight between the mountain and the river dragons, I need something more. And I haven't introduced Magpie's father yet. I thought he'd have appeared by now, but he's still laying low. Which makes sense, given his character. And that he's not really going to get involved until she arrives at court. At least I know that much. And I have the feeling that this is going to be a long-a** novel, given that I'm almost to one hundred pages and she's not even at court yet. Sigh. And then the real trouble's going to start! :P

I also sat outside today - the weather is finally getting pretty - and journaled while trying to figure out life, liberty, and what the hell I'm doing on this planet. I figure God must know, right?, so I'm hoping at some point he'll clue me in. Or not :P For now, I'm just writing, singing, dancing, acting, working to pay my bills, and figuring that the whole meaning/purpose of life thing will fall into place eventually. I think it has something to do with doing what I love and being true to it, as well as presenting the world to people in a way that makes them think about their choices and what they create through them. Or at least entertains them :) Because I think that's one of the greatest tasks of a writer: to present the world as it is, unvarnished and unflinching in our honesty with our readers. Honesty about ourselves through our writing, and about this world and how we see it. And in presenting that world, perhaps giving someone the courage to think of changing it, or changing themselves, or the courage to accept themselves and all that life has brought them. It's too tempting, I think, to cop out and hide something, not present all of the truth, or try to hide myself/censor myself. Writing something on the page, and then showing it to someone - let alone the whole world - can be an unparalleled act of courage and vulnerability.

Okay, why am I getting so philosophical? I have the sneaking suspicion that none of the above makes sense ;)

Ack! Gotta go run and change for church (it's Easter, so I'm going to wear something with polka dots and ruffles :P) and meet a girlfriend for coffee beforehand. And then maybe come home and write more. Oh, and I need to work on sending out some short story subs. And start designing/planning my garden. I want herbs! Lots of herbs and pretty flowers :)

- D